Two years later

Since that last ride we hosted a wedding and welcomed a son-in-law into the family. A fourth grandchild was recently born. My mother-in-law’s dementia worsened and much of these last two years have been spent addressing her needs, moving her from her big house in the suburbs to an independent living apartment and then to an assisted living facility. We are anticipating another level of care is just around the corner. It's been a steep and sad and time consuming decline. My dad, still in the nursing facility, has remained rather unchanged. He sits. He smiles. And seriously, that’s about it. My mom’s unexpected hospital stay that summer of 2023 was a bump in the road. She carries on.

Although Dave still deals with constant foot pain, it isn’t quite as intense thanks to help from a kinesiologist he is now working with. In spite of discomfort, he has committed himself to his workouts, both with his personal trainer and in the gym he made in our basement. Mind over matter, he has learned, can be life changing. 

I have started strength training with Dave’s personal trainer and it has surprised me how much I enjoy it. The motivation? Make sure I can easily play on the floor with my grandchildren for as long as they are little ones who play on the floor. Since I suspect more grandchildren will be added to our family in the future, this will be a driving force for years to come. 

In a big step forward, so to speak, hiking has replaced biking during our Januarys in Tuscon. Seeing Tucson from the mountainsides we have hiked up instead of from the biking path below has made us love our January getaway even more. Trips to Europe always demand a lot of walking and we have gone twice since our year of bike riding.  A walking and hiking trip to Ireland is the next big trip. There has been a lot of forward momentum. We are doing activities that back in 2023 I feared were things we would not be able to enjoy together again. 

Reading through this account of our 60 4 60 rides I am surprised at how poignant the details are. The year we turned 60 we were facing the typical aches and pains of “people our age” but we were also facing a hard reality. Dave’s foot issues had been exacerbated by lingering neuropathy due to the side effects of chemotherapy and they weren’t going away. We wanted to be active, to have adventures, but pain, this unwelcome and uninvited guest, hovered over us daily. 

What to do? How to stay active, work our bodies, and exercise together when one of us has pain with every step he takes? How do we face this new reality without succumbing to the inactivity, passivity and surrender that plague so many people as they hit their 60s and beyond? 

I pondered this puzzle, at the same time I was adjusting to my dad moving into a nursing facility due to advancing Alzheimer’s. The reality of what aging looks like for many was laid out for me every time I walked in those doors. It was and remains a constant reminder to keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. And I was determined to keep us moving.

Biking seemed the best option at the time. It was non-weight bearing so perhaps it wouldn’t hurt Dave’s feet quite so much. When I suggested our 60 4 60 it felt like a last ditch effort. Going back and reading my account of our rides makes me realize that it may have been the logical option, but it certainly wasn’t pain-free. 

This morning’s bike ride wasn’t one of our most pleasant. It was hot, the sun beat down and the air was thick. We should have left earlier in the morning to avoid the worst of the heat. The wind picked up as we rode which was great until it was time to turn around. Those last 9 miles we faced a headwind the whole way. To get home, there was no way to avoid the hard part but to go through it.

And so that’s what we did.  We rode side by side in silence for most of the way home, pounding it out, dreaming of the air conditioning and watermelon that were waiting for us as soon as we got off our bikes. When I was tired I fell back behind Dave and let the rhythm of our pedals sync up as he kept our momentum going and drafted me home.